Where Does the Magic Go?

What strange times we find ourselves wandering through.  What once was up, is now turned completely upside down.  This past week has been especially challenging for me.  Unrelenting waves of emotion keep washing through me like a tide, so violent at times I fear I will be swept up in it all.  Tossed by the waves, and completely exhausted,  I feel drawn deeper down, into a sleep filled with equally turbulent dreams.  One day reaches into the next,  as lost as the one that came before it.  Where does this path lead to now?  With no way back, where does my heart lead me?   Worrying about what comes next has got me caught in my head again.  I know this place, I've been here before.  This cold fragment of time in my mind, where nothing is possible.   I stop, and realize I am not even in my body anymore.  I'm completely ungrounded.   I pause.  I breathe.  I try to feel my feet on the ground.  Searching for that ancient connection to Gaia.   I breathe the sweet air deep into my lungs, and release it down into the earth.   I continue to hold space for myself in this way, breathing into Mother Earth through my feet.  I know she is always there supporting me.  I place my hand on my chest and I feel my warm heart, beating inside.  I am still here.  I am still alive.  I am still whole.  Patience love, this too shall pass.

This past week was a difficult one for me.  My emotions were raw and I was overcome with a feeling of helplessness.   This was from having to turn away those who are seeking help and support through this difficult pandemic.   When you're told you can't help people, when your sole purpose for being in business is to HELP PEOPLE, it's gut-wrenching.   That reality was not something I ever prepared myself to face.  It hit me hard, admittedly.  It's OK, I'm human enjoy being a student of life.   Today I am fully present and start the first baby steps towards the process of reimagining this place.  Since opening my doors a year ago, the world sure has changed.  This lockdown is offering me an opportunity to reevaluate my programs and adjust them to better fit the changing times and needs of my community.  We worked hard to get here and are not ready to throw in the towel just yet!   
Hang in there friends, I know times are tough, but we have to keep going! 
Sending love and light,
~ Angee

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